What are Kalyana Mitta Groups?

Kalyana Mitta is a Pali term used in the suttas which means “spiritual friend.” KM groups are small peer groups committed to supporting one another in the practice and journey to spiritual awakening.

Structure: The groups are small (12 or fewer) and meet regularly over an extended period of time to allow trust and intimacy to develop. 

Intention: The intention is that members become comfortable sharing openly and deeply, enriching their practice and their lives with the dharma by taking the focus of the meeting, whether it’s on one’s life, one’s practice, or a specific book or talk, and creating a unique container so that the light shined in that container has the reflection of Dharma. This is not something that necessarily happens in most of our daily lives and should be cultivated and celebrated.

Practice: KM groups can provide support and inspiration for one’s practice, but they can also at times elicit uncomfortable thoughts and feelings during meditation and group discussion. A commitment to regular meditation practice and an ability to manage one’s feelings and reactions to others will help foster a positive group experience.

Joining a KM Group

1. Submit Questionnaire: Submit a KM Questionnaire to IMCC’s volunteer KM coordinator.

2. Initial Contact: Once the questionnaire is received, you will be contacted by the volunteer coordinator to discuss available groups or options for beginning a new group.

3. Trial Period: You may attend a couple of meetings for both parties to determine if it is a good fit.

Group Expectations

• Attendance: Commitment to regularly attend meetings, unless the group is specifically designated as a drop-in group (the Virtual KM Group mentioned below is an example of a drop in group)..

• Confidentiality: Maintain group confidentiality. Anything shared during group meetings is confidential and should not be discussed with anyone outside the group.

• Mindful Sharing: Practice mindful sharing (refer to the guidelines for mindful sharing).

• Dharma Focus: Keep sharing focused within the context of the dharma.

• Sangha Connection: In order to stay connected to the larger sangha, KM members are encouraged to maintain regular attendance at IMCC on Tuesday evenings to the extent possible.

Guidelines for wise speech and mindful interchange

• Please refrain from cross-talk during check-ins. There can be time for follow up questions or further

• Speak from the heart with kindness and from direct personal experience. Refrain from discussion and questions that are purely intellectual and philosophical.

• Be concise. It helps everyone who is listening and leaves time for others to be heard. If someone has already spoken, please allow others the opportunity to share a first time before speaking again.

• Feel free to pass if there is nothing to share at the moment.

• Let there be a pause between sharing. Slowing down the process promotes awareness of what is arising within.

• Listen deeply to the person speaking, noticing what arises within during listening—and what arises during speaking.

• Don’t offer advice unless specifically requested.

• Honor the confidentiality of the group. Having non members join a group for a meeting is not encouraged.

Virtual KM Group

There is a Virtual KM Group which meets on Mondays and on any day without a scheduled noon sit leader.

12 pm - 1 pm

Zoom

The discussions/meditation meeting will include a reading of Pema Chodron’s ‘Comfortable with Uncertainty’. The format is usually the reading, a discussion about the reading, and then meditate for 25 min. 

The chapters are short and stand alone so drop-ins are not a problem. Email imcc.kmitta@gmail.com for more information.